Testing, Testing…Is it 2009?



I was going to let it pass because I’m controversial, but not too often on my blog. This blog was created for the sole purpose of me sharing things I like to do as well as talking endlessly about my children, who just happen to be biracial. After reading a post earlier this month by Nikki over at Blasian Baby Notes asking the question whether or not biracial kids are destined for doom, I decided I wasn’t able to hold my tongue/keyboard keys regarding this new incident about a justice of the peace refusing to sign the marriage license of an interracial couple. I had to join the many other people who are majorly outraged, totally beside themselves, and who would like to just give Mr. Bardwell a nice swift beat down spanking on his backside for his remarks that won him the “Ignoramus of the Year” award. I may say he would probably be able to retain his position through the end of the year, but I’m sure there will be someone else next week, next month, or at least definitely before the end of the year, who will give him a run for his money.

People continue to amuse me, which is why I wasn’t too surprised when I first read the article. I mean, I’m not so ignorant that I don’t realize Mr. Bardwell is the mouthpiece for many people throughout the world today; yes, even in 2009. I believe that people are still more comfortable with the delineation of black and white (separately) which is why Obama is still recognized as the first African-American president instead of the first biracial president. That’s another post for someone else’s blog. What surprised me is not that Mr. Bardwell made the statement, but that he was full of such conviction and he shared his reasoning as if we all should understand and agree. “I did it for the children.” That kind of reminded me of Edward Wycoff who’s reasoning was so true to him and would make sense if he weren’t just plain crazy. He was also looking out for the children.

Before I met Darling D, I never really considered limiting my dating experiences to outside or within my race. All I really wanted was a nice guy. When I started dating Darling D, I was dating across the board – black men as well as men of other races. Because I don’t do well with the multi-tasking dating, I decided I had to choose the man I had the most in common with. It just happened to be him and he just happened to be white. There were no intentions of marriage on my part. I just wanted to have someone to hang out with who was also athletic, loved the outdoors, etc. The only requirements I had for anyone I dated was that he didn’t smoke, wasn’t a Dallas Cowboy fan, and also wasn’t crazy; the fact he was quite handsome didn’t hurt either. He fit the profile, we fell in love, and eight years later, we have three beautiful biracial children. They’re beautiful, not because they’re biracial, but because they’re mine.


I guess I should thank Mr. Bardwell for his efforts. If someone had stepped in earlier, then through the years, we could have been spared scenes like these which I’m sure my children only do because they are biracial.


I can’t imagine that any other parent of a mono-racial child has ever experienced such strange behavior in their home.

All jokes aside, before I became a mommy, I was worried about our children. Some of the things that have concerned me over the years are the following:

1. Would I be a good mommy to them?
2. Was I feeding them enough food?
3. How would I teach them about God when I’m still learning myself?
4. When are they going to learn how to share?
5. Would we make it homeschooling through highschool?

The list goes on. I can’t say that race was ever really a concern or an issue before or after we got married. It rather fell somewhere in the top 100 things of topics Darling D and I like to discuss. If we have conflict in our marriage, it’s never due to racial drama, but rather the same old boring husband/wife drama. Actually, we really don’t have much drama in our marriage. The children provide enough of that for us, but that’s just children; any children. Darling D and I do enjoy talking about our similarities and differences, but often we find that they’re more personality differences rather than racial.

We are a multiracial family. Our marriage is surviving and our children are thriving as their individual identity and character continues to be shaped. We owe much of this not only to our commitment to our marriage, the love we share as a family, the spiritual values we uphold as a family, but also due to the support of our extended families as well as our friends. Maybe Mr. Bardwell hasn’t been talking to the right people because I believe his statistics are a little off. He should get out more. If he happens to visit TN, I hope he stops by for a visit. I’m not going to let him one-up me. I’ll let him use my bathroom too.


More reading about this subject:
I read a really great series last week by Ernessa at Fierce and Nerdy and it continues today regarding interracial relationships, marriage, and children. Cat at 3KidsandUs is also discussing this incident over on her blog.

I was able to write this post after pulling my jaw up from the floor. What did you think after reading/hearing about this incident in LA?


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One Response to “Testing, Testing…Is it 2009?”


  • His statistics are DEFINITELY off. It’s sad, but I think some people have a deep-seated need to feel superior and this guy is definitely one of those people. How patronizing to worry about biracial children. Dude needs to worry about his own kids. But I think the uproar over this case proves just how much times have changed. I doubt this story would have been met with such outrage in the 80s or even the 90s.

    BTW, the pics are super cute. I hope my kids are that “strange” someday. I know I should be valuing the baby era more, but I seriously can’t wait for the kid years.


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